bad example

she says shes embarassed
to talk to me
when shes been drinking

she says
Im a bad example
because not drinking
is so easy for me

she says I just dont get it

I know shes young
and that she dont know
what she dont know
but to say that
I dont get it

she has no idea

theres a special section of hell
waiting for me

Ive done things on the bottle
that neither God nor man
can forgive
and someday Ive got to pay that debt

and though I know
theres no escaping
those eternal flames

I have no desire
to return to the hell on earth
I created for myself
back in my drinking days

Im trying to do right

I thought getting sober
and staying sober
might help someone else too

maybe show them
it aint easy
but
it aint impossible either


do I hide my struggle too well
should I fall off
just to prove Im no better
than she is

maybe I should drop by her place
drink all her booze
piss on her floor
then go wrap her car around something

will that make me the real deal

will it tarnish
this tin halo
she imagines
on my head


I know
that Im still more sinner than saint
but
Im gonna keep trying to do right
for as long as I can

cause I know
these wax wings
wont last long
where Im going

little girl lost

G
perforated his skull with a bullet
and cured himself once and for all
of his addiction to alcohol

that was three years ago
and his daughter
has been drinking about it ever since

I saw her today
and couldn't help but think of her old man

my mind always returns to that tile floor
in the basement of their old house
where I used his mop
his towels
to wipe up
his blood
his brains

I had to make sure
his daughter didn't see
what her old man left behind
or more precisely
what was left of her old man

this morning she told me
she'd been sober the last four months
the alcohol on her breath
revealed the truth before she did

"I'm screaming for help
it's not four months
but four hours"
she finally confessed

then she began to cry
and between sobs
she said she wants to be done
but that I shouldn't worry

she just wants to be done

I told her I'd help her
but in the mean time
she needed to find a meeting
she agreed and said she'd look

that was nine hours ago

I don't know if she found one or not
I can't find her

now I'm lost

down like chuck brown

you pull back to throw
another promise at me
and tell me to go deep

I cut and run
my usual pattern
down and out
but I feel good about this one

I go the distance
hope churning, desire burning
and I raise my hands
to catch your oath

as I look back over my shoulder
I see your grip loosen
and watch your empty words
slip through your fingers

you've fumbled once again

I trip over my disappointment at full stride
legs, arms, expectations akimbo
and tumble heart first
into another lie

I'm down like chuck brown
and you, my Lucy
strut off the field with a smirk that says
you'll be back

and I lay there
sucking air
swearing that the next time
you lob a promise at me

I'm gonna cut and run

american tragic

I was there when the waters receded

I was there when the city was homeless
it's streets empty like FEMA's promises
houses smashed like the dreams of their owners
into a million razor edged pieces, shards

of a broken mirror that we'd all peered into
hoping to find our slice of the american pie but
now that it was broken
we avoided our reflections

we bowed our heads
and prayed for divine intervention
for fear that love thy neighbor
might become a call to action

I was there when the waters receded

and I cried
the only way
a grown man can
silently and alone

my tears sprung from a well
deeper than my experience
and flowed backward through time
where they were salted with centuries of despair

I was there when the waters receded

and I cursed God
for turning a blind eye
toward his children
and in my condemnation
I became blind

not realizing
that if I picked up the pieces
of that broken dream mirror
and peered into it with eyes wide open

I'd find an entire city
looking back at me
and
that if I gazed long enough
I'd find the sacred

right where it's always been

this much is true

Compromising your integrity
is as easy as saying yes
when the answer is no.

The only way to deal with a problem
is to deal with the problem.

If you're drinking about it
you're not thinking about it.
Self-medicating
will make you sick.

Love hurts.

You can study for a lifetime
and never learn common sense.

Decency
is one of those things
that you either use or lose.

If you have never given yourself
truly and completely
to someone or something
without the expectation of something in return
you're doing it wrong.

Love heals.

alice doesnt live there anymore

pull yourself up by your bootstraps
they like to say
self determination is all you need

be sure to tell alice

she has two sons
her husband walked out three months ago
she lost her job
just before christmas

her eviction is scheduled for 5 pm
tonight alice and her boys will be homeless

so what do you do
when your bootstraps are out on the sidewalk
alongside everything else you own

go ask alice

the masses are asses

the two most powerful words
in the American language
are abortion and guns

they polarize, chastise, politicize
and galvanize
like no two other words can

they manipulate, segregate,
and all but eliminate
civil discourse

they are wielded to divide
and to conquer

as yelling fire in a theater
will drive a panicked public
to clamor for the exits

the mere suggestion
that the opposition
opposes your position
will drive a panicked public
to clamor for the polls

has it ever occured to you
that the arguments involving gun rights
and the debates surrounding abortion
are meant to never be resolved

the Republican party
needs the country's poor white trash
terrified of isms and stocking up on ammo
so they can continue
to do favors for Big Business
while nobodys looking

the Democratic party
needs the educated activists
thinking theyll save the planet
by recycling their plastic bottles by the millions
so they can continue
to do favors for Big Business
while no ones looking

the masses are asses
and your elected officials
are counting on it

America is for sale
the American military is for hire
and American politicians
can be rented by the issue

but dont let these little things
concern you
you need to remain hypervigilant
because lurking around every corner
is someone
who wants to take your gun or your choice

on the other hand
if youve been considering
doing some of your own thinking
now might be a good time